Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
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