he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
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