I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Randomize
