I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Randomize
