Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
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