I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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