I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Randomize
