I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
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