Sry I called you an 8
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
