Umm I'm too high to move.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
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