I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
You smell like stripper and shame
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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