I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Randomize
