Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize