So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Randomize
