Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
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