My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
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