Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
