I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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