So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Randomize
