This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
he laminated a picture of his dick.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
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