So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
This is classic penis vs brain.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Randomize
