found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
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