Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
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Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
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You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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