so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
