My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
