What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
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