i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
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