I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize