can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
