So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
Randomize
