I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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