Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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