I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
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He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
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Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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