i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
