can we get nightvision for the apartment?
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
