Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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