I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
