i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
Randomize
