I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
