she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
