What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
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