please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
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