just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
