He had one of those small greek statue penises
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
