if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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