dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
