After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
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