you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
