Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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