Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
