oh god the rape fog is back!
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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