I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Randomize