this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
It's just like the Real World with babies
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Randomize
