I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
