id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
