What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
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