take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
Randomize
