she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
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