carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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