I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
Randomize