WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
