Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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